Thursday, 27 December 2012
I shall stop. Stop trying to find happiness. I will live as it is now. With family and friends. Thts enough for now. I wont ask for anything anymore. Nt tht i dont hve anymore faith. Its just tht im leaving everything to him. I will keep moving. Keep living. For my family for my friends. But i wont go searching for my own. Im tired. Getting hurt and hurting someone. In the end, im e mean one. The heartless one. If im heartless, how did i remain loyal to someone for so long? I dont know anymore. I dont want to know any longer. Whatever gonna happen will happen. I will nt do anything. I wont hear anything. I wont see anything. I wont feel anything. In tht way, i will live. Nt happily but still i will live. I will breathe. I will eat walk talk work. Like tht i will live. Ppl will get bored of my life story but im okay. They wont need to know, how i live my life. Just like tht, i live my life.
Angels♥
09:27
Thursday, 13 December 2012
Evrything's over. Because love was blind. It made me stupid. I pushed evrything away. Just because no one can win you in my heart. & because of tht stupid so called love, i pushed away all including e only chance tht can make me happy. In e end i was e the one to suffer. You still breathing. You still can love someone else and be happy. You forget evrything. You lead a good life. You . I dont know tht love was this painful. Loving yoi destroy me. Destroy my evrything. Its unfair. You're unfair. Everything's unfair. Why everyone can move on so fast but i cant. Why do i hve to stuck on e past. Why me? Why cant i love someone tht loves me. Why am i like this. I hate this. I hate you. I hate myself. I hate my feelings tht always played on me. All i want was just happiness. How long am i gonna be like this? After finally over you, i realised how much mistake i made in pushing him away. He's gone. After you its him. Must i wait again? Was my life only on waiting? Is tht all my life is about? Im nt okay. Im not fyne. I wish i can say it all out. Because its hard to be all tht happy when inside i feel so cold. I feel so empty. I feel so crushed. Mad. I cant take this anymore. Hurting ppl again. Shall i make myself gone? Gone for good? Its stupid ryte. Yes it is. But what's so surprising about tht. Hoping for you is stupid. Pushing him away is stupid. Realising it too late was stupid. Nvr being able to mend my mistake was stupid. Ive done soo many stupid things. So why not? Enough is enough. Theres so much a heart can take & im nt tht strong. Im not. Tell me. Shall i end this all? Shall i leave evrything behind?
Angels♥
11:53
